With this, I wed you...
I wish I can grow old happy, blessed and fulfilled, and there’s a wonderful supportive partner alongside me, at least for most part of my life (no intermission…eg no husband-snagger along the way).
Last week someone mentioned that human beings are not monogamous by nature. That got me a little fired up ‘cause my life will be compromised if that’s true. After all, I don’t want to live in fear that my partner is going to dump me for someone else just because he is following his animal instinct.
In a way, I agree with concepts such as survival of the fittest, Nature’s theory of natural selection. (All right, I am seriously divided here. On one hand, I believe in God and thus with his omnipotence, can make anything possible. On the other hand, I agree with Darwin's Theory of Evolution - Natural Selection) By nature, if we don’t live in solitude, we would want the best (might mean compatibility in this case) partner for ourselves. Then we can move on to procreation.
We don’t spend our entire life selecting partners, procreate, deselect partners if a better one comes along the way, procreate again, repeat cycle. Perhaps animals do that to ensure survival of their kind. But we are not animals out in the wild, ie someone’s gonna kill us any minute for food.
We think, we plan and most of all we are in control of our actions. Once we give our promise to someone to live together for better or for worse, we have decided what we want for our life, right?
All right, there are temptations out there. But we have to recognize that we need to play our own part and put in our efforts. That made us different, right?
posted by Queen Bee at 4:26 PM
9 Comments:
If procreation were to be the sole aim of life, then one should hold no grudge against polygamy.
But, evolution is not only about Darwin; it is not only about natural selection. Moreover, evolutions is not just about procreation.
Evolution is a process in which something passes by degrees to a different stage, especially a more advanced or mature stage.
In that sense, there is no doubt that we all evolve.
Just out of curiosity: What forces you to see a division between natural selection and God?
After all, nature is a creation of God. So, if it helps, theory of nature could, in fact, be seen as theory of God. Evolution is God's way of letting us improve.
oh you are so right. i hate it when people say to expect complete faithfulness from men is not logical. i have seen so many examples of faithfulness among spouses. women are able to love and make love to only one man in her entire lifetime, right? so why the heck can`t we expect that from a man? monogamy is NOT acceptable.
One of my good female friends is absolutely incapable of monogamy in her relationships with men. She has lived with 9 boyfriends (she is now 35 years old). After listening to her same old stories over and over again, I have drawn the conclusion that she cheats on her boyfriends for self-esteem purposes. She relies on random men to assure her that she is still attractive. Right now she is not in a relationship but she is sleeping with her ex-boyfriend's former best friend (who she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with while they were still together) and is heavily flirting with her two male coworkers, one who is married and who she is extremely sexually attracted to, the other who is living with a woman.
Yes human beings are animals. But what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is our ability to intellectually reason in manners of copulation and procreation.
My friend and I are not as close as we used to be anymore because she is engaging in the same, slutty destructive patterns. The men who she engages in these patterns with are not the type of men that I would trust. They are all disgusting sluts in my opinion and they are all devious people with no integrity.
There are good men out there WHO CAN BE MONOGAMOUS. You have to set the standards in your relationship to get what you want out of it. It's all about finding the right person who shares your exact same values. You can find that person and you will.
@Pradeep: Hi Hi, regarding the division between God and natural selection, it's going to be a lengthy one on this because there is quite a few areas of dispute in the way I interpret it. I am still hopping in and out on it. So I won't touch it too deeply yet... :) at least must do more research ...
@Mary_P: "the urges, real as they are, are no real competition to ... the relationship" Yeahhhh!!! Thumbs up to mind over body ;) Actually it takes more COURAGE for us to make such a stand...Strong mind over body ;)
@Still_Figuring_Out: To the men who are still making excuses to stray, let's say that they are just weak...
@Megan: Thanks! You are right that we are the ones who set the standard in what we want in a relationship.
Frankly, self-esteem is a tricky issue. There are just so much to sort out in one's life. With low self-esteem, there's a lot of uncertainty even if that person makes a decision. Very soon, he will fumble and back himself up with lots of excuses.
Ok, I want a partner with a STRONG mind, and is firmed that I am the one for him. The growing old part will be both of us helping each other to remain the better half of each other ;)
Well said QB!
Thanks, Pradeep! :)
Beavers are monogamous. Beavers are better than men.
@Newyorkmoments: Hi! Thanks for this important information. In fact I have to admit this is the first time I am seeing animals being described as monogamous. This is interesting & getting complex because I thought monogamous is a choice.
@Mary P: Now this sure is getting complex :) How do animals know the difference between fidelity from being monogamous?
And we humans being the thinking ones, I believe will be much more able to make a personal choice to remain fidele to someone whom we love and profess to be our marriage partner.
Well said, Mary, our marriage partner and ourselves definitely deserve the kind of respect that is due to each other as life partners. :)
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