A Good Ear and A Good Mouth
Sometimes I felt that I am a horrible listener and a not very good advisor to others. I did earnestly try but somehow I just didn't seem to make it...
Today I was reading a book and there's one portion of it which is really helpful and meaningful to me :) It recommended 3 points on how to choose good advisors. To me, the points not only highlighted the pointers to be good advisors, they also reflected what good listeners do. I suppose good advisors have to be good listeners to begin with. Okay here goes:-
1) A good listener-cum-advisor asks you questions and will be happy to ask many many questions, if need be, just to draw out the real you or the issues you are concerned with.
My tendency is that I assume the issues to be the ones my friends tell me in the first few minutes. In the end, I could wind up as lost as they are (esp if they are confused in the first place), and not offering much help. Oh boy...
2) A good listener-cum-advisor shouldn't always draw things back to themselves and their own experience.
Hahaha, I am guilty of this too... okay, I should try to put their issues in context. Every context is different; what works for me might not work for my friends. I should focus on the influencing factors.
3) A good listener-cum-advisor gives their opinion only after careful consideration.
Very true... I shouldn't fall into the trap of offering some advice too hurriedly just because the situation is pressing to my friends. It might be better to spend some time digesting them fully. Good advice can come after pausing too. :)
Today I was reading a book and there's one portion of it which is really helpful and meaningful to me :) It recommended 3 points on how to choose good advisors. To me, the points not only highlighted the pointers to be good advisors, they also reflected what good listeners do. I suppose good advisors have to be good listeners to begin with. Okay here goes:-
1) A good listener-cum-advisor asks you questions and will be happy to ask many many questions, if need be, just to draw out the real you or the issues you are concerned with.
My tendency is that I assume the issues to be the ones my friends tell me in the first few minutes. In the end, I could wind up as lost as they are (esp if they are confused in the first place), and not offering much help. Oh boy...
2) A good listener-cum-advisor shouldn't always draw things back to themselves and their own experience.
Hahaha, I am guilty of this too... okay, I should try to put their issues in context. Every context is different; what works for me might not work for my friends. I should focus on the influencing factors.
3) A good listener-cum-advisor gives their opinion only after careful consideration.
Very true... I shouldn't fall into the trap of offering some advice too hurriedly just because the situation is pressing to my friends. It might be better to spend some time digesting them fully. Good advice can come after pausing too. :)
posted by Queen Bee at 5:01 PM
10 Comments:
hmm at least u made a start....tht was good advice :))) tcc
This might also make sense:
A good listener-cum-advisor prefers to listen like a good friend, and offers advice only when asked. :)
Personally
Cheers!
I'm guilty of all 3 I think..but especially #2. I gotta stop doing that.
@Jackal:
Hahaha...
@Pradeep:
:)
@Kimmy:
Sometimes when a group of us are doing #2 at the same time, the gathering becomes a woe-pouring session... LOL
Awesome.
Point taken. And CTM.
Cheers
:)
hmm..
interesting..most of us are actually bad listeners!
Hey which book is this?
do let me know the name!
Hi Anand,
It's called "The nine secrets of women" by Kate White. :)
O' Queen Bee..
The collective poppulations of the flowers, honey hunters and bees on blogsphere are awaiting an update....
Hi Harjee,
That's very sweet of you :)))
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