Kiddy Problem
A question-mark is growing bigger and bigger in my mind lately on whether I should discuss a touchy issue with a friend. Situation is a bit precarious because it can make or break our friendship if I am not tactful enough. I was getting pretty chummy with her lately till this problem pops up -- I have a tolerance issue with her 3 year old kid...
She used to be a firm mother on discipline whenever her kid is misbehaving. But that tends to 'push' her kid to be closer to his father who is an absolutely doting father. Nothing wrong with a loving father but mother is playing the disciplinarian most of the time. Now she decided to drop her role. She would chide her kid lightly and if he continues to misbehave, she will just give in and be an all forgiving and loving mother.
Result: her kid is becoming a little terror. If he continues, I am quite sure, it will be harder and harder for the kid to comprehend and for him to get worse. By the time, she delivers her second kid, she may have problems managing a wailing baby and a kid who's perpetually trying her patience. Most friends just roll their eyes or look away whenever they can't stand her kid. A few tried to give some advice to her or take discipline into their own hands, but it's a thin line to tread on. For me, I am wondering if I should look away (like the rest of our friends do) whenever my tolerance level is bursting, or I should talk to her but risk hurting her, or I should just avoid her kid altogether.
posted by Queen Bee at 4:15 PM
9 Comments:
Unless you have close experience with kids of your own or otherwise, methinx you should not venture to advise. Obviously the kid needs discipline. Maybe you can venture a suggestion if the kid behaves like a terror in your house. That would give you full right to do so. All things aside, if she is your very close friend, she wouldn't mind your advise. But you never know what runs in the minds of women, so be warned ;) hehe
tell her.
the way it is.
usually good advise is rejected on other grounds for a fault in manner of presentation.
my suggestion is, make her read your blog. as simple and straight as that. because no matter how much you try, you won't be able to tell her this in as crystal a format. and it will be easier for the half chance that she has of listening to you...if it is read. face to face she will have to keep a expression intact. let her read it. in her own privacy.
i think if you feel strongly and beleive in something...and it is intended to do good...please go ahead and do it.
its not about how they will take it. its about whether you think it is a chance worth taking.
i think u shud tell her and if she considers u a true frnd she wud not mind tht......i know there are ppl who treat thier kids like tht n they turn out to be real nuisance......tcc
tell her....
@White Magpie:
Haha, yes, the minds of women :) I am one too... haha
@Harjee:
For her sake, I feel it's a chance worth taking. But for my sake, our friendship may backfire if I mishandle it... Keeping my fingers crossed on this...
@Jackal:
If that kind of kid turns out to be somebody's husband in future, GOOD LUCK to the wife!!!
@Shooting Star:
Hi! Thanks for popping by ;)!
In that case, it's worth it.
Do it.
Good Luck...
This is a very sensitive issue cos though she's ur friend, it's 'her' kid that ur gonna be talking abt...while I have no probs with a close friend giving me good advice over my kid (if I ever have one), some ppl might take it the wrong way...so u have to be very careful. As long as u know ur friend very well and how she might react to u, its ok...
put it in a pleasant way and a less intimidating tone...:)
But rem not many parents like being told bad abt their children...no matter how liberal a person he/she may be..so be careful and be polite...
Keshi.
Hey queen,
These situations are always dichotomous!...
But I believe that if u have the power to make something better for someone..u shld atleast always try!
If u do think ur advice can make things better for her and her kid ...Id say go ahead and have a nice conversation with her...!
@Harjee & Keshi:
Hi! Thanks for the encouragement! I am planning to catch her at a good time to speak to her. Yes, Keshi, usually a child is a 'product' of a parent and the parent may take serious critism quite personally...
@Ekta:
Thanks! And welcome on blog too :)
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